Miss Morris is mild, Miss Morris is meek,
She loves teaching history – Roman and Greek,
She knows all the wars with the French and the Spanish,
But when danger threatens, Miss Morris will vanish!
She’ll dash, in a flash, to the ladies staff loo,
Then emerge, in an instant, as somebody new!
Helmeted, caped, in an aura of light,
And with gold coloured pants that are far, far too tight.
With a leap she will launch herself into the air,
And bullies and baddies had better beware!
Supermiss! Supermiss! Classroom crusader!
There’s nowhere to hide, villains just can’t evade her.
She’ll teach them a lesson they’d rather not know.
Now get on with your work, she’ll be back in a mo.
There’s a sound far away, like a faint thunder-clap
And the sky’s punctuated with ‘Pow!’ and ‘Kerzap!’
The occasional ‘Whammo!’, an ‘Unghhh!’ or a ‘Wheee!’
And then it goes quiet, as quiet can be.
She lands like a lark, hardly bending the grass,
And in less than a minute is back with her class,
Where Miss Morris says ‘Settle down now! Pay attention!
Who knows Galileo’s most famous invention?’
Supermiss! Supermiss! Hear the class roar!
But if there’s one Supermiss, could there be more?
So watch when your teacher pops into the loo.
She just might emerge as a Supermiss too!
First published in ‘Top Secret Lives of Teachers’, edited by Brian Moses, published by Macmillan 2002